Monday 13 July 2009

From where I am

I thought starting this blog was going to be an easy thing. I should have known that nothing that meant I had to be original, gauge people's interest and effectively present myself as a credible writer and coach was ever going to be easy! Its like testing all my years of confidence building in the succinctness of a few words. What if no one reads me? I mean really, WHAT IF NO ONE READS ME?

I have turned the material for this first blog, over and over again in my head. Should I present myself as I am? Should I try to sound smart and start by telling everyone, everything I know, which amusingly might just leave nothing for future blogs? Should I talk about being gluten-free vegan? Should I talk about coaching?

I have finally decided to start just from where I am...

Sounds powerful! but what does that mean? Where am I? I am at the beginning of something I have wanted to do for a long time - - I am striving for personal freedom.

I am a 31 year old, mother of three, who is getting divorced from an 11 year marriage to an emotionally abusive alcoholic.

The beginning of breaking free began with The Secret...who knew that whatever you asked for life would gladly comply, especially if you could be brave enough to take action? I surely didn't.

Over the last three years, I have really pushed the boundaries of what that could mean for my life - - I have almost finished paying for what three years ago would have seemed like an impossible amount of money to become a life coach - - my eldest daughter is going in September, to the kind of school I thought I would only have dreamed of for her - - I am in a loving, supportive partnership - - and I am starting my own business. And I feel like saying here, "And I'm black!" I know that's ridiculous, but its still a very real thought. Part of my breaking the chains that have bound me has been very much about exploring this idea of my blackness...how in my world, I allowed my experiences to dictate how powerful I could or couldn't be, and the realisation that it was just another one of those excuses I could use to keep myself back!

I have changed so much over the last three years that I no longer recognise myself. I have quit smoking, I have stopped eating meat, dairy and gluten and have been brave enough to start calling myself a writer again. Now coming from an Afro-Caribbean background, I am considered in my family as the crazy one, so I guess another aspect of where I am, has to do with building enough courage to be different to my family and to make the choices that I know will bring me closer to the things that I desire. I believe that Spirit speaks to us from the depths of our deepest desires, and I want to be courageous enough to find those deep desires and trust that having them means that I have what it takes, to make them real.

One of my deepest desires is to write the kind of fiction that makes people dream, and another is to really understand the mechanics of the change that I have undergone. Things aren't perfect (though detailing the changes in my life has made me feel so very grateful) but just by changing my thoughts, I have become so much more free, that I would like to share that with others - - not just by telling them, but by showing them how. So onto life coaching...with NLP of course :-)

And so also I begin this blog. I'm hoping this blog will detail how I take my life that next step ahead - - build a successful coaching and writing practice, balance my work and my family life, and orbit to that place where success (and being abundant) feels natural...I also like to use it to help others take this journey with me...

I am looking for five people in the London/surrounding areas who would like 6 free coaching sessions - - this can be done in person, on the phone, by email or by instant messaging. This is a great opportunity for anyone who has been thinking about being coached but has felt that they would like to know more about it before spending or who feels that they need a coach but like they don't have it to spend right now. I guarantee that if you are ready to make changes, coaching can make the difference in your efforts. You will get to the point where its won't be a question of can I? But rather, how can I not?

"I bargained with Life for a Penny, and Life would pay no more,
However, I begged at evening, when I counted my scanty store.

For Life is a just employer, He will give you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages, why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial’s hire, only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life, Life would have willingly paid." - Napolean Hill, Think and Grow Rich

Anybody interested in reading Think & Grow Rich with me?

Take care of yourself...